Therapy to Navigate a Midlife Transition

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Life has this way of presenting itself to us in some pretty serious ways.

"Is this it?" "What is my purpose?" "I feel like there's more I should be contributing to the world than this." "Did I make a mistake in choosing my partner?" "Should I be more satisfied?" "Do I just need to buck up and get over this?"

These are beautiful, complex questions. According to master existential therapist, Irvin Yalom, there are four existential givens in life: Death, Freedom, Isolation, and Meaninglessness. Thoughts about these existential givens flow like an undercurrent throughout our lives. There are certain moments when we become more consciously aware of them. If you've lost a loved one, it can immediately bring clarity and a sense of urgency to live well. To focus on what matters. Other times, these existential givens are a little more subtle. Our desire for Freedom might present itself in a quiet restlessness at our workplace. Perhaps a stifled desire to explore and travel and create. Or maybe it's when you've settled well into your marriage and a sense of isolation creeps in with the growing monotony that is routine and stale intimacy. You might wonder about what the point is of your life and what you contribute. I want to begin by telling you that you are not alone in these concerns. These are the existential givens of life. You will be confronted by them in varying degrees throughout your existence.

It can be difficult to find a renewed sense of groundedness on your own. We can help you explore your deep desires and internal conflicts and come to a more aligned and connected way of being through life transitions.

Wondering if these questions are too big and philosophical to tackle?

Of course, they're freaking big! We've been battling out these questions since the days of Aristotle and probably even the first caveman to stare at the stars. The thing is, a lot of times we take the paths that feel most paved. We see SO MANY PEOPLE who did the right thing. Chose the "right" major, went for the "right" job that everyone encouraged and celebrated, and are now wondering about the next right move as they step further into their own lives and get to feel things out for themselves. Although we do take an exploratory approach as we understand your unique questions and ponderings, we help you explore things in more concrete ways like determining what your values are, what your ideal life might be, and what your self-talk says. We'll help you gain some clarity and help you nurture any changes to your mindset or life that you need to feel truly satisfied.

Hitting a midlife crisis can really shake things up in relationships and families—it’s that moment where you start asking, “Is this all there is? Am I where I thought I’d be?” And while it’s easy to swap stories or compare yourself to others, the truth is, this season looks different for everyone. Some people feel it more in their careers, others in their relationships or sense of identity. Generational differences play a role, too—what felt like a crisis for your parents at 40 might look completely different for you. And men and women often navigate this stage in unique ways, whether it’s around achievement, aging, or shifting roles. The most important thing isn’t how your experience stacks up against someone else’s, but how you meet yourself right where you are—with honesty, curiosity, and a little self-compassion.

The Deep Dive on Midlife Transition at Modern Therapy

What could a midlife transition look like?

A big transition or moment of internal reflection in life may look different for everyone or never happen for others.

Here are a few experiences that might fall under the midlife transition category:

  • Suddenly finding yourself in an empty nest

  • Feelings of isolation or sense of disillusionment in times of transition

  • Questioning life purpose as a young adult in the early 20s or early 30s

  • Starting a new chapter such as moving out for the first time, going after new opportunities, moving to a new city, or moving through career uncertainty

  • Coping with the idea of entering what's perceived as an "old age" and what comes with that

  • Feeling lost in early adulthood and finding what matters most

  • Seeing new physical impacts of aging such as a lack of motivation for physical activity, trouble getting enough sleep, or health issues

  • Physical illness or conditions that cause physical decline

  • Lack of life satisfaction with social relationships or loneliness

  • Menopause (can happen as early as the 30s and early 40s)

  • Increased comparison on social media and triggering thoughts around seeing major life changes

  • Noticing physical abilities like hours of sleep, a gradual decline in exercise, appetite shifts, and illness

  • Death of a parent and awareness of life expectancy and the physical aging process

  • Challenges that impact your children's economic future

  • Stagnation or dissatisfaction with quality of life

This list can never encompass everything someone may feel as they transition from young adulthood to middle age and into older adults. It's important to know that these aren't always causes of a midlife crisis. It may just be a time to explore your sense of purpose and embrace healthy aging with a strong relationship to yourself.

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Finding resilience with mental and physical health during midlife

Part of owning this stage of life and your amazing body is understanding how stress affects you—both physically and emotionally. During this transition, stress triggers natural hormone releases like adrenaline and cortisol, which might show up as a faster heart rate, higher blood pressure, or shallow breathing. Your body is getting ready to face a perceived threat, but those side effects are not fun when you’re juggling changes in relationships, career, financial strain, or identity.

The longer we’re under stress, whether it’s big or small, our bodies can start to show signs like fatigue, more frequent illness, muscle tension that never seems to go away, and digestion issues. In the most severe cases, chronic stress can even lead to mental health symptoms like unclear thinking, memory loss, or struggles to focus and make decisions.

Taking the time to pause and tune into what’s true for you is how we begin both proactive and reactive stress management—together.

Getting clear on the causes and triggers of stress in midlife

Let’s face it: the world can feel pretty chaotic, and midlife stressors (insomnia, feeling lost, thoughts about how much time is left, you name it!) are often just one more thing to add to the pile. We’ve got new stresses popping up every day through notifications, work pressures, and evolving relationships. And let’s not forget how identity shifts and societal expectations can bring additional stress during this chapter of life.

Most of us experience some level of stress, but your unique reaction to these stressors is what makes your experience special. That’s why it’s so important to dive deeper and explore your own experience of stress, so you can find new ways to handle it all with grace. Most of us experience some level of stress, but your unique reaction to these stressors is what makes your experience special. That’s why it’s so important to dive deeper and explore your own experience of stress, so you can find new ways to handle it all with grace. Professional help is one way to understand inner turmoil when it all feels confusing, and it may also be a good idea to look inward and understand the symptoms of midlife crisis. This is a time of growth and a variety of symptoms may show up to inform you that you're ready for significant changes.

Moving forward with midlife transition therapy by your side

Midlife transition therapy is your space to understand yourself better through middle adulthood, approach challenges with compassion, self-trust, and gain insight into why certain stressors hit harder than others. We always start with a personal intake to learn about your experiences and what will make our time together most valuable for you. From there, you’ll feel confident knowing we’ll craft a treatment plan that fits your needs, with clear steps on what to expect as we move forward and regular check-ins to track your progress.

You can trust that your heart-led therapist will introduce the techniques and therapies that work best for you, carefully listening to your feedback and guiding you through each session for greater clarity. Being in middle life is all about taking those small steps to fuel personal growth that impacts your whole life.

midlife transition

Build your individual health foundations to support transitions with our loving coaches

We poured our passion and hearts into MT Wellness, a short series of wellness sessions that we wish we had ALL gone through sooner in life. We’re here to help you learn the basics of attuning to your foundational human needs, tap into the strengths and resources you already carry within you, and learn the crazy power of living with clear intention setting for yourself.

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Midlife transition: Frequently asked questions

  • Midlife transitions are those big life changes and shifts that tend to happen around the quarter or mid-point of life. It’s a time when people often reevaluate their goals, relationships, career paths, and even their sense of self. Maybe your kids are growing up and leaving the nest, or perhaps you’re questioning what’s next for you in your career or personal life. These transitions can bring up a lot of emotions and mixed feelings, but they’re also a time for growth and self-discovery. It’s not just about adjusting to the changes—it’s about finding the space to explore who you are now and what truly lights you up moving forward.

    Symptoms of midlife crisis can be anything from hot flashes and trouble sleeping that fall under physical changes, to experiencing feelings of regret or thinking about your own mortality. In our later years, these things can also be triggered by a new hobby, new job, job loss, or other transition.

  • A midlife crisis is often thought of as a dramatic, sudden change in behavior, but in reality, it’s usually a process of deep reflection and sometimes uncertainty. Some common behaviors can include questioning life choices, experiencing restlessness, and wanting to make big changes, like switching careers or relationships. People might start feeling like they’ve missed out on things or wonder if they’re running out of time to accomplish certain goals. You might also notice a desire to “rebel” against previous expectations, whether it’s about lifestyle choices or how you’re living day-to-day. These feelings are natural, even though they might be uncomfortable, and often signal the need for deeper self-awareness and the chance to redefine your path.

  • Managing a midlife or quarter-life crisis is all about self-compassion, reflection, and taking small, intentional steps toward alignment with who you are now. Here are a few ways to navigate this time with grace:

    • Take time for self-reflection: Sometimes, a moment of pause can be a powerful tool. You might find it helpful to gently explore what feels right in your life and what doesn’t. Whether it’s through journaling, meditation, or conversations with a therapist, the goal is to honor your feelings without feeling rushed to act on them.

    • Make room for growth: Midlife transitions can offer the perfect opportunity to reconnect with things that light you up. Maybe this is the moment to rediscover an old hobby, explore a new passion, or try something you've always wanted to learn. Whatever it is, nurturing what brings you joy can create a deeper sense of connection with yourself.

    • Seek support when needed: Sometimes, a little extra support can make a big difference. A coach or therapist can provide a safe space to explore your values, strengths, and aspirations, helping you navigate decisions that truly reflect who you are in this moment.

    • Try mindfulness practices: The stress that comes with change can feel overwhelming, but small, mindful practices might bring some relief. Whether it’s breathing deeply, being present, or simply taking a moment for yourself, finding ways to ground yourself could help ease anxiety and bring a little peace during turbulent times.

    • Give yourself the gift of patience: Change and growth take time. It’s okay to not have everything figured out right away. Be gentle with yourself as you move through this process, knowing that each step, no matter how small, is part of the journey toward a deeper understanding of who you are.

  • Feeling relief and support doesn't mean you have to meet a certain criteria for a mid or quarter life crisis (who defines these things anyway??). You also don't have to think the end of the world is near. Any period of uncertainty about which life paths lead you to the best time and your desired goal can benefit from space to talk and open conversation in either therapy or coaching. The good news is that we're not looking to fix you because we don't believe people are problems that need solutions. Instead, you can expect to explore your core values and that part of life (or multiple parts) that may be misaligned to them. We'll help you embrace who you are and find that clarity with a compassionate lens that meets you where you're at.

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