You might find yourself drawn to growth and finding new ways to expand yourself from your mental and physical health to your passions and career. As more professionals embrace coaching to tackle their individual goals while feeling seen and empowered, there’s a growing interest in relationship coaching to apply that mindset to strengthen couples.

Similar to attending couples therapy (don’t worry we’ll break down the full differences below), partners can work with a coach to create space to step out of their day-to-day and focus on their connection. They may come in with a specific goal in mind or simply look to strengthen foundational skills like effective communication, building understanding, shifting conflict patterns, and gaining resilience in times of high stress.

Below, we’ll deep dive into everything you need to know about relationship coaching, including:

What relationship coaching is all about
The difference between relationship coaching and couples therapy
What a relationship coaching session is like and what we cover
How to know if relationship coaching is a good fit for you
How to find a relationship coach

So, what is relationship coaching?

You’re not alone if you’re not totally sure what relationship coaching is. The truth is, it can look different depending on the coach, their background, where you’re located, and what you’re hoping to get out of the experience.

Sometimes you’re in a place with your partner where you aren’t quite needing to repair or address any severe issues, but have curiosity about taking steps forward to create the relationship you’re looking for.

Couples who feel drawn to relationship coaching might find themselves thinking:

We’re not in crisis, but it feels like we’re just coasting and I want to regain momentum.”
“I wish we had more tools to handle stress as a team instead of just getting through it.”
“I feel misunderstood, and it’s leading us into the same cycle of conflict and disconnection.”
“We need some more help with communication and active listening when things get stressful.”
“We’re in a rut and just need more ways to connect and feel together as a team.”
“We’ve got a good thing, but I want us to feel even more connected as we move ahead.”
“We’ve gotten stagnant, and I want to break out of our usual habits to feel more connected.”
“We’re about to go through this big transition (marriage, kids, moving) and I want to make sure we stay united as a team.”

Talking with a coach doesn’t mean your relationship is in a bad place or broken at all. There’s no prerequisite, and in fact, many couples come when they’re in a great place, like being recently engaged or planning to start a family, so they can grow in alignment with what’s ahead. The empowering nature of the coaching space is a great way to show excitement about the potential you can have together when you feel supported with action steps, practices, new perspectives, and tools that guide you to be in the strongest place possible today, and as you look to the long-term.

Examples of relationship coaching outcomes

Sometimes the word coaching can make the red flags go up because there are so many programs and quick fixes online these days. This is such a fair reaction, and another reason we feel SO passionate about doing the exact opposite, allowing couples to lead the way with our informed and empowered support on what would feel most valuable from coaching sessions and feeling the genuine support of someone on their side.

If you’re all about structure and plans, our relationship coaches are well-equipped with tools, exercises, and structure to guide your goals. What makes the biggest difference however is that we’ll always invite in flexibility to meet you where you’re at and make sure you’re leaving with what you really need.

Picture this: You might be working through exercises in communication under stress and reading each other’s non-verbal cues for a few sessions, then experience an unexpected life event or big decision that’s weighing on your relationship. Instead of just “continuing with the program” we’d take that next session to focus on your here and now experience. That might look like creating a safe and neutral space to talk it out and feel understood, to get real time support and intervention, then applying skills that will support you as you navigate everything, even after the session.

We’re far more concerned with helping you feel growth in the way you need it most week to week than sticking to a schedule or premade plan. That’s why most couples will experience unique paths in relationship coaching and can sense the difference of sessions that meet them in the real and lived challenges of their relationship. After all, you’re the expert in your relationship.

Examples of relationship coaching outcomes:

Stronger communication patterns: Learning how to actually hear and respond to each other without getting stuck in the same loops, and being able to read one another’s non-verbal cues and stress responses in addition to what’s being said out loud.

-> Here’s a deeper dive into how communication under stress can impact every relationship.

Clearer alignment on goals: Whether it’s premarital commitments, career transitions, family planning, or lifestyle changes, coaching helps you get on the same page about what’s next and think big together with empowerment to see what’s possible.
More resilience under stress: Developing practices to navigate high-pressure seasons together rather than feeling pulled apart by them, with space to explore why each partner approaches stress differently and what they need most to feel grounded.
Deeper sense of connection: Rediscovering fun, intimacy, and small rituals that make the relationship feel alive again, embracing new ideas and thoughts to switch things up without judgment or pressure to make it perfect.
Confidence in conflict resolution: Shifting disagreements from “us vs. each other” to “us vs. the problem” and practicing resolution that supports each partner’s needs and communication styles.

It’s kind of like building the muscles of your relationship and working them regularly to become stronger with every session, and knowing you’re approaching it together. And when the inevitable weeks come where work stress is draining or a conflict pops up unexpectedly, we can apply these learning moments in real time to help you practice the skills and offer feedback on how they’re feeling along the way. Coaching thrives most when it’s informed by what really works for you, so we’ll always invite you to share how things go between sessions and what pivots can be made to give you even more tailored approaches.

How relationship coaching compares to couples therapy

It’s common to wonder: What is the difference between couples therapy and coaching? While our coaches and therapists work closely together to offer the most well-rounded care possible, the focus and approach are slightly different.

Couples therapy is often about exploring the past, understanding any deeper wounds or patterns playing out in the relationship, and applying a therapeutic lens to get to a place of shared healing. Therapy is the best place for couples who need to find a way through significant distress, past trauma, betrayal, or conflict that impacts their day-to-day functioning. Licensed therapists are trained to help couples process and repair from those harder places.
Relationship coaching takes the approach of looking at what can shift in the here and now to create forward movement. It doesn’t mean that the past won’t come up and help inform where we want to go, but the focus is less on repairing what’s happened and more about creating new patterns, habits, behaviors, and connections. Coaches hold space for clarity, accountability, and skill-building, helping couples take what’s already working and prompt new insights that lead to meaningful action.

So, where do you start?

You don’t have to always choose between therapy and coaching when it comes to your relationship. You may begin with one and find over time that you want to switch to the other. Some couples begin coaching to align on goals and work on small action shifts that build a deeper connection, then head into therapy with that support to go deeper into past wounds. Others may be in therapy to do some more in-depth healing work first, then move to coaching to build on that and stretch themselves into new places.

How does relationship coaching work?

While every session is going to look different based on what you’re working on and what you want to feel walking out of it, here is a helpful snapshot of the experience.

Here’s how sessions typically go

We follow up on any homework you worked on in the previous week with the intention to continue collaborating together and bringing new tools and routines that feel aligned
We check in on what’s working well and what might be feeling challenging
We collaborate and set goals or focus areas for the time together
We talk through anything timely or top of mind in a safely-held space with a neutral third party that can guide thoughtful conversation prompts that support you to tune in and get intentional about what matters most in this moment
We support conversations with personalized exercises that help you try on new skills and try on new approaches
You’ll learn about evidence-based tools that will help you continue to build and practice between sessions

What to expect from your relationship coach

A steady partner to rely on, no matter what comes up
Someone who sees your potential and believes in you fiercely, even when you’re moving through a more challenging time
A guide who will never take sides, but will always advocate for both partners to feel seen and heard in our time together
Someone who’s trauma-informed and works alongside couples therapists to continue introducing new approaches and perspectives based on what you need most

Quick recap: Is relationship coaching something I should explore?

You can use the questions below to reflect and see if relationship coaching might just be a fit for the growth you want to feel in your couple. These questions can also be great conversation starters with your partner if you’re curious, but they may be unsure what to expect.

Do I want more intentional time with my partner?

Between work, family, and life logistics, it can be so easy to slip into autopilot or surf the edge of burnout. Would adding structure and carving out space that’s just for us to pause, reconnect, and focus without the distractions feel valuable?

Are we looking for more tailored tools that speak to where we’re at right now?

You may have listened to some podcasts or read up on tools to support your relationship but feel like you’re ready to get more personalized recommendations and perspectives. Would having tools that are research-backed but super aligned to what you’re moving through together feel good? These skills may touch stress management, truly seeing each other, communication, conflict resolution, setting habits together, or decision-making as a team.

Do we have areas where we’re doing “fine,” but wonder what “great” could look like?

It’s normal to coast at times and feel like you’ve fallen into patterns that work, but maybe start to make you think about what it could look like to get a fresh take. Would it feel exciting to intentionally build new habits, rituals, or ways of relating that make your relationship feel more alive or connected after a period of struggle?

Are there exciting transitions, tough decisions, or unknowns on the horizon?

Transitions happen all the time and whether they’re exciting like engagement and expanding the family or unexpected like navigating grief and facing complicated family dynamics, things feel smoother when you’ve already laid the foundation to navigate it all together. Would you benefit from having time to focus on what’s coming up for each of you, and feel more aligned on what it looks like to come out on the other side stronger?

Would we benefit from having a neutral sounding board?

Even when things aren’t threatening the relationship, ongoing disagreements or misunderstandings can add up and create a tension that’s hard to address without the support of someone who is neutral in it all. Would it be helpful to speak to someone who believes in both of you and guides you to see more clearly when you sense that “stuck” feeling?

Do we want to invest in our growth now, rather than wait until we “need help”?

Just like physical training, the best results often come from steady practice and building strength over time instead of waiting until things are critical. Coaching can be a proactive way to invest in your relationship and address areas of opportunity while you’re both open, to gain skills that will hold you up for any future challenges before they can become bigger foundational cracks.

If a few of these made you pause, it may be a sign that relationship coaching could give you the supportive, forward-moving space you’re looking for.

Talk to one of our coaches to explore it

How to find a relationship coach you can grow with

The most effective way to work with a relationship coach is to find someone who creates an unspoken permission to be yourselves on the good and bad days, share openly, and feel seen even as you’re working through something that may be vulnerable or uncomfortable. This is your person, your support system, and your steady base to turn to–so choosing someone that feels like home goes a long way.

Here are a few tips to help you as you explore the potential connection you both feel with a coach and start getting to know people:

Pay attention to your gut in the first conversation: Do you both feel comfortable? Do you feel like you can breathe a little easier? (That’s usually a better sign than a long list of credentials)
Ask about their style: Some coaches love structured exercises and plans, others keep things more open and conversational. There’s no right answer, just what feels like a fit for how you want to grow together.
See if they can roll with you: Life happens, and you want someone who can pivot with you when things come up, not just stick to a script. Flexibility is often what makes the work feel real and meaningful to where you’re at right now.
Notice how they hold space for both of you: A good coach isn’t going to play referee or pick sides. They’ll make sure each of you feels equally seen and understood, and that the relationship is the focus, while also helping you each walk away with more ease and alignment.
Think about the practical stuff: If you’re feeling good about the vibes, it’s still important to check in on things like scheduling, whether they offer virtual or in-person sessions, and how easy it is to reschedule or plan out when you’ll meet with your busy lifestyles.

Feel empowered to embrace your growth mindset and your relationship

Life is busy and we’re all about carving out space that’s just for your partnership to breathe, evolve, and thrive in connection with one another. Some of the most powerful changes happen when you choose to grow from a place of curiosity, not crisis.

There’s nothing like those “wow, I’ve never thought of it that way” moments that remind us how impactful it can be to have a supportive guide prompting you to see things with more clarity. If you’ve been wondering what’s possible for you both with a little more support, now is a beautiful time to take that first step.

Here’s how to get connected with the right coach for you and your partner at Modern Therapy:

Self-schedule a quick matchmaking call with our admin
Give us a call or text directly → 281-576-8607
Shoot us a quick contact form

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What is Relationship Coaching? Empowering Growth-Minded Couples